Larry David Explains Why He Hates the Holidays and Reveals His Christmas Tradition

The Grinch has nothing on Larry David, who—you’re not going to believe this—thinks the holidays are pretty, pretty, pretty terrible.

The 74-year-old actor and writer, whose Curb Your Enthusiasm character hilariously dismisses almost everything and whose previous sitcom Seinfeld famously highlighted the secular tradition of Festivus “for the rest of us,” turned his own “airing of the grievances” into an essay for former Vanity Fair Editor-in-Chief Graydon Carter‘s digital weekly Air Mail, published on Saturday, Dec. 18.

In the piece, titled, “A Very Larry David Christmas,” David wrote that he is “filled with dread at the prospect of close social encounters with what seemed like hundreds of relatives” on Christmas Day.

“I’m a creature of habit and can’t tolerate anything that throws me off my normal routine,” he said. “That’s why I detest all holidays, but none as much as Christmas.”

David dissed the holiday music, movies and everything to do with the presents—”thinking about them, shopping for them (never without resentment), and the attendant pile of garbage that accumulates from opening them.” He also scoffed at the “barrage” of greetings of “Merry Christmas” and “Happy holidays” that he said “must be returned like unwanted ‘I love you’s.'”